Fr Tim Mulroy recalls a conversation he had with an elderly missionary about his prayerful preparations for a quiet Christmas, each day remembering some of the people and places from his life’s journey.
“How do you plan to celebrate Christmas?” I asked Fr Peter who, having spent more than fifty years on mission, was then in need of ongoing nursing care due to various age-related ailments. “I suppose I’ll celebrate it in the same quiet way as I have done these past several years.
Growing up there were nine of us, now we’re down to three. My younger sister has dementia and my older brother has all kinds of health problems. And, as you can see, I’m just hanging in, so the best place for me to spend Christmas is here in my own room where I won’t be any trouble to anyone.”
“Since returning home from mission a few years ago, my world has become smaller and smaller. I had been away so long that I don’t know the younger generations back in my hometown. Besides, my mind and my memory are not near as sharp as they used to be. Then, when my eyesight declined, I had to give up driving. Now my balance is poor so I’m generally confined to this place. I seldom go out, and when I do, I don’t know anyone.”
Then, after a pausing, Fr Peter continued with a mischievous smile, “Every year, I look forward to Christmas; for several weeks I make a grand tour around this country and across the world to meet my family and neighbours, as well as parishioners and friends from my missionary days. It’s a strange thing to say but I begin my preparations for Christmas at Halloween.
During the Feasts of All Saints and All Souls we bring to mind the deceased, but I need more than two days to remember all those who crossed my path and have already gone home to God … so throughout the month of November I spend a few minutes each day recalling the names of four or five people who are deceased, and I jot down their names and say a little prayer for them, so that by the end of November I might have 150 or even 200 names on that list.”
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“The truth is, at this stage of my life, I know a lot of people who have crossed over to the far shore – and those whom I know on this shore are becoming fewer and fewer! Anyway, it helps me to look back over my life, remember those that meant so much to me and are now on that far shore – maybe they can help me on the last leg of my journey so that I can cross over safely and join them.”
“At the start of Advent my focus changes from the deceased to the living. Each day I recall a few people to whom I write a Christmas card or make a phone call and as I jot down their names on my list I say a little prayer for each one of them and their family. I do the same after I open each Christmas card – I ask God to bless the sender and their loved ones with peace and joy during the Christmas season. Again, I have 150 or maybe 200 on that list, though many of the younger generations, including my great-grandnephews and nieces, I know only by name.”
“I try to keep the Christmas spirit alive until the Feast of the Epiphany. It helps that a few nephews and nieces drop by to visit me after they have celebrated Christmas with their own families. And then there are always a few Christmas cards that arrive after the New Year. I add them to my display of Christmas cards here in my room as they remind me not only of those who sent them, but also of places and events in my past life.”
“Even though I spend my days here in my bedroom, between the Feast of All Saints and the Feast of the Epiphany it feels as if my world expands as I recall each day some people and places from my life’s journey. I am grateful that I have lived in various places, met many people, and have had all kinds of experiences, both happy and sad. I have some regrets, but my overwhelming feeling is one of gratitude.”
“When I pray with all those faded memories, I come to think that there is no such thing as near or far, no such thing as past or future, because everything and everyone is being held together in the heart of God – and that belief gives me great consolation and joy throughout the Christmas season.”
A few months after this conversation with Fr Peter, a sudden serious illness resulted in him crossing over to the far shore. There, he no longer dimly recalls people and places, but rather sees face to face all those whom he had encountered in various locations along the path of life; there he no longer has just a partial grasp of all the twists and turns on his life’s journey, but rather sees and appreciates how God guided and cared for him at every stage of the road. What a delightful homecoming!
And what a joyous Christmas season Fr Peter must now be experiencing not just between the Feast of All Saints and the Feast of the Epiphany, but all year round!
Fr Tim Mulroy was ordained in 1995. A former primary school teacher from Co Mayo, he was Regional Director in the US between 2012-2018 and Superior General between 2018-2024. He is now based in Britain.